Ok, I promised I’d occasionally write something in English and I think this story is worth telling in English. Here goes…
Have you ever taken a test or exam which asked questions that were so simple (and I mean really simple) that you almost felt like it was an insult to your intelligence? Well, today it happened to me for the first (and hopefully last) time.
Before I go on, I have to leave something perfectly clear: I speak/read/write English as good as I speak/read/write Spanish (my native language). Please don’t flame me on this issue, I’m not saying it in a conceited or pretentious way. It’s a fact, and it’s essential to the story.
A week after taking the GRE, I’m back in Madrid. This morning I took the TOEFL (Test Of English as a Foreign Language). In case you’re not familiar with the TOEFL, it’s an English test you have to take if you want to go study to an English-speaking country. The TOEFL is used to measure the candidate’s level of English. Ok, sounds reasonable.
So, what happened? Why am I so ticked off? Well, because the exam is intended for people for whom English is a foreign language (hey, that’s the name of the test). For someone who’s been studying English since he was 2 years old, this exam is stupid stupid stupid. I really mean that, the questions are almost offensive. Some of the questions were very similar to this: (I can’t write a real question…I had to sign a non-disclosure thingy)
Find the wrong word in the following sentence (you’re given three choices): The similarities between dolphins and sharks are astoundings.
If you’re a native speaker, you’ll agree with me that this question is dumb dumb dumb. Well, all the questions are like that, including those in the Listening and Reading sections of the test. And the test was about three hours long. Oh, joy.
I guess someone might ask the following perfectly reasonable question: If your English is so good, how come you weren’t exempt from taking the exam? Well, as always, our dear friend bureaucracy gives a perfectly unreasonable answer. Although I’ve got a couple of perfectly valid English certificates, technically I don’t meet the requirements for exemption from the TOEFL. Strictly speaking, I’m not a “native English speaker”, because I grew up in a Spanish-speaking country, and my native language is Spanish. Furthermore, although I studied 13 years in an American School, I spent the last 7 years in Spanish institutions. For these two reasons, I had to take the TOEFL, like it or not. I’ll say it again: Oh, joy.
Uhm…maybe I should’ve counted to ten before writing this article… :-)
Pos si, mushasote, deverias aver contao ta 10, porke como lea esto er Bus lo mimmo no entras en los IUESEI. ¡Terroritta!
pD. Meno inglis y ma españo, y sino aprende de mi, sinco año en un colejio puvico. ;P
jab abab ted eded jam alajam tej telej asereje je de ja de je jejeje
Free speech! XDD
I found very offensive your comment about TOEFL and yes, you should definitely have thought twice before writing what you wrote. I really think it was very unfair that you had to take the exam because you didn’t meet the requirements of exceptions, but instead of criticizing the system, and how it doesn’t work for “privileged-bilingual-almost-native” English speakers like you, you underestimate the test, laughing about how easy it was…
pues bien, hay mucha gente que estudia mucho para hacer ese examen, y que no es tan facil para ellos como para ti. Es verdad que no deberias haberlo hecho tu, y que para ti seguramente resulto muy facil y ridiculo, pero cualquiera que lea tu blog y este estudiando para el TOEFL (que no es mi caso, in case you are wondering) se sentira un poco desanimado, o al contrario, pensara que es tan facil que ni estudiara para aprobarlo con buena puntuacion.
Pues nada.
On the contrary… estoy convencido de que cualquier persona que lea mi blog y esté estudiando para el TOEFL se dará cuenta de que (a) el artículo está escrito toungue-in-cheek y (b) que no estoy trivializando el TOEFL, sino criticando el hecho de que (por motivos puramente monetarios, pues la matrícula es un pastón) no están dispuestos a eximir a nadie, ni siquiera a gente que pueden demostrar documentalmente un nivel de inglés casi nativo. En ningún momento me pronuncio sobre la facilidad o dificultad que el examen puede tener para personas no-bilingues, y me limito a analizar la situación desde mi situación particular. Si quieres poner palabras en mi boca, allá tú.
De hecho, tu comentario me hace pensar que has llegado directamente a la conclusión de que soy una especie de pretencioso soplapollas que se descojona de la gente que no habla inglés como yo. Digo lo que siempre digo en estos casos: la gente que lee mi blog con regularidad saben que no soy así, y que de hecho me considero bastante afortunado de que mis padres optasen por darme una educación bilingue. Así que allá tú y tu circumstancia… si vas a juzgarme basandote unicamente en un artículo de mi blog y prefieres pensar que soy un gilipollas, a mi plim.
Joer, a ver si aprendemos a tener un poco de sentido del humor. Un poquito de por favor…